Out of the Broom Closet
Sep. 13th, 2009 01:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
actionreactionI know it's been a while. Most of the writing I've been doing have been for actual full-length novels, which I won't be posting here. I'm trying to actually finish something full-length, but sometimes narratives help.
This was written for a character in an American-set Harry Potter game. He's coming to terms with his sexuality and explaining to his younger brother about it. It's a very big step for this character so I had to write this up.
Jordan headed down to the Quodpot field with his broom over one shoulder and determination in his step. He'd asked to meet his brother, ostensibly to congratulate him on making it as a reserve on the Bishop Quodpot team. That was one reason. The other was Jordan had finally decided it was long enough that he'd been keeping his relationship with Bai secret from his own brother. He was nervous all over again, more so than when he'd told Rowan. This was family. This was his brother. This was his favorite brother, the one he was closest to. He had no idea how Joshua would respond, but Jordan didn't feel right not telling him.
Jordan had hoped his brother would be in Proctor with him, but he wasn't at all surprised when he saw the smoke drifting toward Bishop house instead. His brother was much more outgoing, daring, gregarious, and tended to hit the books only after having fun. He wasn't as musically inclined as Jordan, nor did he have that supreme competitive drive. They were pretty different, but they were still close, being the only wizards in the immediate family.
Jordan knew Joshua looked up to him. It helped Josh to have someone going through the trials of wizardhood before him. And it helped Jordan to have someone in the family to talk to since his parents weren't entirely comfortable with magical children. Jordan was worried about jeopardizing all that now with what he had to say. He paused at the edge of the field, watching his brother swoop and dive on his broom, and smiled with pride. Without a word, he hopped on his own broom to join him.
After a few passes of a Quod that was still covered in the explosion-dampening solution, Jordan signaled them down to the field. Joshua's face was full of excitement, a clear sign of how much he loved to fly. Jordan ruffled his hair and started the conversation with, "So I said it before, but I'll say it again. Congratulations. I hope you know though, that once you're on the field proper, I'll have to crush you."
Joshua wrinkled his nose. He was fairer than Jordan, with a sprinkling on freckles across his nose and cheeks like their aunt. "Yeah right, old man. Just you wait. My youth beats your experience any day."
Jordan grinned for a moment, before the expression melted away to a more serious look. "Hey let's talk for a minute okay?"
Joshua, not noticing the serious undertone to Jordan's question, shrugged his shoulders and sprawled out in the grass. "Sure. What you're going to tell me about how now I'm a jock I gotta be sure not be be all stereotypical, right?"
Jordan shook his head. "Not exactly. You gonna go to Homecoming, right? The dance, not just the game."
Joshua opened one eye and peered at his brother. "Yeah, probably. Why, you asking me out?" He teased, expecting his brother was neither going nor interested in dating anyone. That's how it had always been, so why would this be any different?
"Very funny. C'mon I'm serious. I'm going this year," Jordan said in response, not rising to the teasing. He was having difficulty trying to figure out how to get on o the subject of Bai without being completely blunt. Hmm. Maybe that was an idea.
"You? Going to a dance? Jordan at a social event, hold the freakin' phone here." Joshua sat up, his curly hair mussed as usual. "Why? Do you have a date or something?" He was incredibly curious because this was out of the ordinary for Jordan.
"Yeah I kinda do. It's...not what you'd expect though." Jordan sighed and looked down, trying to word this properly. "There's a reason I didn't date. I thought for a while that I just didn't find any girls interesting enough. I tried though, believe it or not. I ask Rowan Cabot out sometime in May, but it went nowhere. We both knew we're just friends, nothing else. She was interested in someone else, and...so was I." He could feel Joshua's gaze on him, and could imagine it being incredulous, maybe skeptical.
He continued, afraid to stop once he'd started. "I didn't get it, you know? All this time I didn't realize that there was one person, someone I thought I couldn't really stand, someone who always got under my skin. Someone who drove me crazy, and not for any of the reasons I thought. It was someone I was really close to, someone who was right under my nose the whole time, and i was too blind to see it."
He lifted his eyes then, and met his brother's gaze. "I ave to tell you this because I can't keep something like this a secret from you, Josh. I wasn't avoiding dating because I wasn't interested in it, or because I didn't have time. It was because I was avoiding admitting something to myself." He took a deep breath and ripped off the Band-Aid. "I was avoiding it because I hadn't admitted to myself that I'm gay. And that the person I was so hung up on this whole time was actually Bai." He stopped then, watching his brother and waiting to see what he'd say.
Joshua was staring at Jordan like he couldn't believe what he'd just heard. He took a very, very long time to say anything at all, and when he finally did, it was a little disjointed. "So you're like...gay-gay? Like no girls ever, gay?" He wrinkled his nose again, something he did frequently when he was thinking his was through something. "But then like...when you...Okay no, never mind I don't even want to think about that. So you're dating your roommate? Seriously? Okay, I can safely say I wasn't expect you to say that."
Jordan still had that knot in his stomach. Nothing Joshua had said so far had eased it at all. He hadn't run away, grossed out, but he hadn't said anything to the fact that he was okay with it either. "Yeah. Since before break really, but I haven't really told people. Just a couple. I was a little worried about telling you, to be honest."
Joshua reached over and punched his brother in the shoulder. "Why? You thought I'd call you names or be grossed out or something? You're still my brother. Who you date doesn't change that. I mean, damn, when you come out of the closet you come out with a broom and a boyfriend, don't you?" Josh shook his head, smiling slightly. "I won't say it's all just gonna roll right off my back like nothing, because it's just words right now, you know? I dunno how I'll feel when I see my brother kissing a guy. But I'm not gonna tell anyone, and I'm not gonna stop being your favorite brother either."
Jordan bit the inside of his lip as his brother spoke. When Joshua got to the end of that speech, Jordan let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "Thanks, J. Telling friends is one thing. But telling you, knowing I'll have to tell everyone else, especially Dad..." Jordan let the sentence trail off, not sure where he was going with it.
Joshua punched him again, this time a little harder. "Hey doofus. It's okay, all right? I mean kudos to you for figuring things out. I don't know what you went through, but your favorite brother will be here for you." Joshua smiled with understanding. "And thanks for telling me before the gossip girls got a hold of everything. It would have sucked to hear it from someone else. Just...gimme a little bit to get used to the idea, okay?"
Jordan nodded, then on impulse gave his brother a hug. "Thanks Josh," was all he could manage. It didn't matter to Joshua though. Jordan had said enough already.
This was written for a character in an American-set Harry Potter game. He's coming to terms with his sexuality and explaining to his younger brother about it. It's a very big step for this character so I had to write this up.
Jordan headed down to the Quodpot field with his broom over one shoulder and determination in his step. He'd asked to meet his brother, ostensibly to congratulate him on making it as a reserve on the Bishop Quodpot team. That was one reason. The other was Jordan had finally decided it was long enough that he'd been keeping his relationship with Bai secret from his own brother. He was nervous all over again, more so than when he'd told Rowan. This was family. This was his brother. This was his favorite brother, the one he was closest to. He had no idea how Joshua would respond, but Jordan didn't feel right not telling him.
Jordan had hoped his brother would be in Proctor with him, but he wasn't at all surprised when he saw the smoke drifting toward Bishop house instead. His brother was much more outgoing, daring, gregarious, and tended to hit the books only after having fun. He wasn't as musically inclined as Jordan, nor did he have that supreme competitive drive. They were pretty different, but they were still close, being the only wizards in the immediate family.
Jordan knew Joshua looked up to him. It helped Josh to have someone going through the trials of wizardhood before him. And it helped Jordan to have someone in the family to talk to since his parents weren't entirely comfortable with magical children. Jordan was worried about jeopardizing all that now with what he had to say. He paused at the edge of the field, watching his brother swoop and dive on his broom, and smiled with pride. Without a word, he hopped on his own broom to join him.
After a few passes of a Quod that was still covered in the explosion-dampening solution, Jordan signaled them down to the field. Joshua's face was full of excitement, a clear sign of how much he loved to fly. Jordan ruffled his hair and started the conversation with, "So I said it before, but I'll say it again. Congratulations. I hope you know though, that once you're on the field proper, I'll have to crush you."
Joshua wrinkled his nose. He was fairer than Jordan, with a sprinkling on freckles across his nose and cheeks like their aunt. "Yeah right, old man. Just you wait. My youth beats your experience any day."
Jordan grinned for a moment, before the expression melted away to a more serious look. "Hey let's talk for a minute okay?"
Joshua, not noticing the serious undertone to Jordan's question, shrugged his shoulders and sprawled out in the grass. "Sure. What you're going to tell me about how now I'm a jock I gotta be sure not be be all stereotypical, right?"
Jordan shook his head. "Not exactly. You gonna go to Homecoming, right? The dance, not just the game."
Joshua opened one eye and peered at his brother. "Yeah, probably. Why, you asking me out?" He teased, expecting his brother was neither going nor interested in dating anyone. That's how it had always been, so why would this be any different?
"Very funny. C'mon I'm serious. I'm going this year," Jordan said in response, not rising to the teasing. He was having difficulty trying to figure out how to get on o the subject of Bai without being completely blunt. Hmm. Maybe that was an idea.
"You? Going to a dance? Jordan at a social event, hold the freakin' phone here." Joshua sat up, his curly hair mussed as usual. "Why? Do you have a date or something?" He was incredibly curious because this was out of the ordinary for Jordan.
"Yeah I kinda do. It's...not what you'd expect though." Jordan sighed and looked down, trying to word this properly. "There's a reason I didn't date. I thought for a while that I just didn't find any girls interesting enough. I tried though, believe it or not. I ask Rowan Cabot out sometime in May, but it went nowhere. We both knew we're just friends, nothing else. She was interested in someone else, and...so was I." He could feel Joshua's gaze on him, and could imagine it being incredulous, maybe skeptical.
He continued, afraid to stop once he'd started. "I didn't get it, you know? All this time I didn't realize that there was one person, someone I thought I couldn't really stand, someone who always got under my skin. Someone who drove me crazy, and not for any of the reasons I thought. It was someone I was really close to, someone who was right under my nose the whole time, and i was too blind to see it."
He lifted his eyes then, and met his brother's gaze. "I ave to tell you this because I can't keep something like this a secret from you, Josh. I wasn't avoiding dating because I wasn't interested in it, or because I didn't have time. It was because I was avoiding admitting something to myself." He took a deep breath and ripped off the Band-Aid. "I was avoiding it because I hadn't admitted to myself that I'm gay. And that the person I was so hung up on this whole time was actually Bai." He stopped then, watching his brother and waiting to see what he'd say.
Joshua was staring at Jordan like he couldn't believe what he'd just heard. He took a very, very long time to say anything at all, and when he finally did, it was a little disjointed. "So you're like...gay-gay? Like no girls ever, gay?" He wrinkled his nose again, something he did frequently when he was thinking his was through something. "But then like...when you...Okay no, never mind I don't even want to think about that. So you're dating your roommate? Seriously? Okay, I can safely say I wasn't expect you to say that."
Jordan still had that knot in his stomach. Nothing Joshua had said so far had eased it at all. He hadn't run away, grossed out, but he hadn't said anything to the fact that he was okay with it either. "Yeah. Since before break really, but I haven't really told people. Just a couple. I was a little worried about telling you, to be honest."
Joshua reached over and punched his brother in the shoulder. "Why? You thought I'd call you names or be grossed out or something? You're still my brother. Who you date doesn't change that. I mean, damn, when you come out of the closet you come out with a broom and a boyfriend, don't you?" Josh shook his head, smiling slightly. "I won't say it's all just gonna roll right off my back like nothing, because it's just words right now, you know? I dunno how I'll feel when I see my brother kissing a guy. But I'm not gonna tell anyone, and I'm not gonna stop being your favorite brother either."
Jordan bit the inside of his lip as his brother spoke. When Joshua got to the end of that speech, Jordan let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "Thanks, J. Telling friends is one thing. But telling you, knowing I'll have to tell everyone else, especially Dad..." Jordan let the sentence trail off, not sure where he was going with it.
Joshua punched him again, this time a little harder. "Hey doofus. It's okay, all right? I mean kudos to you for figuring things out. I don't know what you went through, but your favorite brother will be here for you." Joshua smiled with understanding. "And thanks for telling me before the gossip girls got a hold of everything. It would have sucked to hear it from someone else. Just...gimme a little bit to get used to the idea, okay?"
Jordan nodded, then on impulse gave his brother a hug. "Thanks Josh," was all he could manage. It didn't matter to Joshua though. Jordan had said enough already.